10. Hoboken, New Jersey – Just a hop, skip, and a stabbing away from New York City, in Hoboken you can enjoy all the charms of the City that Never Sleeps, such as long lines for every place of business, an enormous volume of traffic, and the Holland Tunnel, without dealing with subway rats.

9. Detroit, Michigan – Achieving a whopping #4 on the annual list of “Best Places Named Detroit” by the We Love Detroit Foundation, among the selling points of Michigan’s largest city are wide open spaces and lots of available housing.

8. Greendale, Colorado – Home to such noteworthy institutions of higher learning as Greendale Community College, the town boasts a high population of celebrity actors studying Spanish and Anthropology and a recent visit from Vice President Joe Biden.

7. The Lost Island – If you can find it, this unnamed Island in the Pacific is a tropical paradise, full of well-armed hippie inhabitants, lovable characters who often sport lovable accents, and a propensity to travel rapidly through time and space without notice.

6. Bound Brook, New Jersey – World-renowned for its refinement and culture, Bound Brook is perhaps most famous for its high-class strip club establishments, including Ooh La La’s and XXX Naked Girls Everywhere.

5. Edwardsville, Pennsylvania – Long known as a hip hangout for students from nearby Larksville College, Edwardsville has lately been attracting high-quality dollar stores and prostitutes eager to be part of its urban rise, marked by the construction of a new Price Chopper in 2002.

4. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania – The capital of the Commonwealth, Harrisburg boasts a staggering population spike in smelly animals and agricultural products (also smelly) each January, as well as the absence of former governor Ed Rendell.

3. Boston, Massachusetts – Go for a swim in the Charles River and head right for the detoxification unit at Massachusetts General Hospital so you can get back out and enjoying everything this city has to offer: rowdy colleges, slow and inefficient mass transit, and 364 days of subzero weather per year.

2. New Brunswick, New Jersey – Though most think of this city as home of Old Man Rafferty’s bar and restaurant, it also boasts one of the country’s largest and most well-maintained universities, Rutgers. Spend some time with local drug dealers near the train station and find yourself transported to one of the city’s renowned research hospitals. (Take a dip in the Raritan River for the same result.)

1. Gallifrey – If you can avoid visiting when the planet is engulfed in flames and sealed inside the universe’s most epic Time War, Gallifrey is an absolute nirvana, with its funky red grass, gap in reality that allows the observer to peer into Time itself, and glass-enclosed city of Roman-looking Time Lords whose buildings and vehicles are all bigger on the inside.

The great question, of course, is what exactly to make of what’s going on. Will it prove to be futile? Will it spur the Arab world towards a total democratic transformation? Likely, the answer lies somewhere in between; only time will tell.

You’ll recall that I briefly visited Egypt in 2009 while I lived in Jordan. I reflected here around that time that the Middle East seemed to be a powder keg, and it was a matter of when, not if, the explosion would happen. That hardly makes me a skilled political scientist or even a good predictor; anyone with even a cursory knowledge of the region would have said much the same thing. Human beings are feisty and driven, refusing to be oppressed. Egyptians have been biding their time, making the best of their situation, until a moment of opportunity arrived. (They’ve been notorious, actually, for resisting the regime through biting humor, at Mubarak’s expense, of course.)

Well, the camel’s back has been broken. Exactly how it happened still isn’t clear. It’s likely political scientists like me will build careers around trying to answer that question. And where this momentum will go, no one can tell. Mubarak is still in power. There is nothing to bind him to his promises besides the courage of the Egyptian protesters. However, it seems clear that transformation is on the way: the people of the Middle East have rid themselves of one dictator and struck fear in the heart of another. So much of politics is about relationships of authority between citizen and state. Those relationships, in the Arab world, can never be the same again.

I’d like to make a few concrete points. First, fear of the Muslim Brotherhood is overblown. The Brotherhood has been a fairly moderate outlet for middle class professionals to oppose the regime. Yes, the party promotes the idea of a state governed by Islam; many in the Arab world feel that Islam can provide answers to their malaise and failed attempts at governance since the fall of the Ottoman Empire. But that doesn’t mean the Brothers could, or even would, turn that idea into reality. In fact, the Brotherhood has shown admirable restraint recently, pledging not to run a candidate for president (in order to mitigate some Western anxiety), and a desire to work with other factions. What happened in Iran will not happen in Egypt, by any stretch of the imagination; the historical context of the (initially moderate) Iranian Revolution was rather unique, as was its hijacking by a charismatic and extreme cleric.

Second, don’t expect what is happening in Egypt to spread verbatim throughout the region, at least not immediately. For instance, there has been a great deal of coverage of Jordan recently. Jordan is not likely to be the next Egypt. The Hashemite Kingdom has its own host of problems: a substantial majority of the country identifies as Palestinian (putting Jordanians, and their originally Saudi monarchy, seemingly in the minority), unemployment is high, the people are poor, water is extremely scarce. But the king and queen are well-loved, and recent protesters have directed their hostilities almost exclusively at the government instead. The monarchy has identified itself with the essence of being Jordanian, in a way that the person of Mubarak never was to Egypt. The king will likely have to make deep democratic concessions going forward, but I would not expect the monarchy itself to change drastically in the near future. Elsewhere in the region, Syria has thus far been able to contain its people’s dissent. The Gulf monarchies have been successful at essentially bribing their people, whom they don’t need to tax thanks to enormous oil profits. Yemen, though, could be a disaster waiting to happen, and seems the most likely candidate to follow Tunisia’s model, albeit with the potential for renewed civil war and a dangerous strain of violent Islamists taking power.

Gang, we’re at the tip of the iceberg. Political life in the Middle East is likely to look very different in the 21st century than it did in the 20th. There may be difficult times ahead, but I hope that the coming transformations will lead to a hopeful era for the people of the Arab world. The hearth of this transformation is fitting; Tahrir Square means “Liberation Square” in English. Liberation from the chains of tyranny is the great dream of many in the Middle East – freedom to govern themselves, to stand and be heard, to realize their dreams, to build a peaceful and prosperous life and future.

Ahoy! Well, I’ve had two weeks off, for the most part, but I’ve neglected this blog. Now, however, fishy89 and lunaticraft have checked in with posts, so I guess I should stop being so damn lazy.

In short, life is good, ladies and gents. After a productive finish to my first semester of grad school, I’ve had a restful and rejuvenating break. I’m ready to get back and I’m excited for my spring classes. Here’s my schedule, if you’re curious:

Mondays, 4:00 to 6:40 Comparative Political Analysis
Tuesdays, 11:30 to 2:10 Statistics and Quantitative Methods
Tuesdays, 5:40 to 8:20 American Political Development
Thursdays, 11:30 to 2:10 Theories of Democratic Transitions

Wednesdays, 4:30 to 6:30 Introduction to College Teaching (not for credit, offered through the Grad School’s TA Project)

I’ve had a blast since I’ve been home. I got to see almost all of the people I wanted to, partied it up with some great friends on a birthday weekend, ate to shocking excess with some zany friends at a Brazilian restaurant, saw a rodeo at the PA Farm show, walked on freaking mine fires in Centralia, and invaded several small island nations. Success!

You know, my pretties, it’s been a good long time since I’ve been as excited for a new year as I am this year. I’m getting to do something I love, in a great program, in a comfy apartment where I banter incessantly with iepoch, surrounded by wonderful people across something like five states. There’s a chance I might score some lucky breaks in 2011 (e.g., there’s already been strong hinting about a job at my alma mater once I get my Ph.D., if not before, which could gain steam) that would make things even more amazing. And, for whatever silly reason, I have a feeling this year could see fishy89, iepoch, and me finding girlfriends. Not that it’s necessary; I couldn’t be happier with things as they are (that’s a lie: I would love some Ph.D. funding, haha), but it might be nice to have someone special in my life, especially now that I’m settling into grad school. Who knows.

Well, there’s your catching-up entry. Future ones will be more fun and exciting.

This will be you.

Much like this crazy hooligan. I mean, LOOK at those cheese curls.

Folks, it’s been a hell of a ride these past four months. I’ve made amazing friendships, racked up obscene mileage on my car going to Pennsylvania, Newark, Westchester County, and Boston to have a blast with my favorite people anywhere, got thrown into the lake of fire that is the political science discipline and didn’t burn my tuckus too badly, got (and got rid of) a hernia, and lost fifteen pounds and counting.

That's right - the answer to that question would be a picture of my face.

And now it’s just about time for the year 2010 to come to a close. I’ll probably come up with some sort of boring, detailed examination of the year as a whole, but for right now, I’m too tired. It certainly had its high points and low points, and I think I may have learned more about myself in 2010 than in any previous year I can remember.

Wow, I’m really tired. Can you tell I’m starting to trail off? It was sort of a dumb time to write a post, but ya know what? My blog, bitches. I don’t worry about your piddly little opinions, or your needs to be entertained and enlightened. Hogwash, all of it. You just need to sit back, read every word I say with rapt attention and excitement, and enjoy life.

Right here. This man knows what enjoying life is all about.

Until next time, planeteers.

Okay, so I was eating at a McDonald’s somewhere in New Jersey with both friends from PA and from Rutgers. This McDonald’s was outdoors, however, in that you ordered from a large window on the side of the building. Kind of like a food stand at a state fair, maybe. Anyway, to eat there, you sat at a long picnic table under a tent. For whatever reason, we were all sitting with the owner of the place, who was an Italian pastry chef trying to earn money to go back to California to open a bakery there. (Apparently owning an outdoor an McDonald’s was a sure path to riches in my dream world.) He had, in the words of Monty Python’s French Taunters, an “outrageous accent,” just Italian instead of French.

We got talking, and someone asked me where I was from. This was kind of odd since I knew everyone there, but I responded, “Pennsylvania.” The owner asked me where in Pennsylvania, and I told him the city where I went to college. He yelled, “NO! I can’t believe it!” as if the he had some intimate connection to the area, but didn’t bother to explain.

At this point, an “old friend” of mine walked into the McDonald’s. (If you can really “walk into” an open tent, but whatever.) Can you guess who this “old friend” was? (If my good friends FF and BP are reading, I think they’ll really appreciate this.)

Barney Frank! Of course!

Now, Congressman Frank was looking for a new “personal barber” and asked me if I had any suggestions, as though I live in either the Massachusetts 3rd or Washington. Although I did get the best haircut of my life at the House barbershop in the Rayburn building when I worked there, which is maybe where the Barney Frank association came from? I don’t have a blessed clue. Anyway, I suggested lunaticraft, maybe thinking that knitting ability translates into hair cutting prowess. Or maybe I was just remembering how big a fan of his she was.

In any case, I woke up at that point and immediately realized I had to write a blog entry about the dream, since the title “Burgers and Franks” was just too perfect a coincidence to pass up.

The end.

I have to think more theoretically.

Wow. Blew you away right? Naw, I know it’s exciting only to me, but crap is it a big deal for my grad student future. In the course of writing my NSF proposal and doing class reading, it just dawned on me. I rewrote my entire proposal, and I think it’s leaps and bounds better. Don’t get me wrong, it might be leaps and bounds from ultra-poop to semi-poop, but it’s something. How I think about and approach research will never be the same.

Research should count itself lucky…

How have you been, kids? (Anyone still out there?) I can’t tell you how awesome it’s been here. Actually, I can, and gladly will next time I see you, if you don’t mind me talking your ear off.

Ciao until next time!

So, readers, give yourselves a pat on the back. No, no, harder than that – don’t be shy. Your curious eyes are what keep me writing the idiotic drivel that we’ve all come to know and tolerate with the assistance of therapy, if not love.

With the utmost gratitude in my heart(s), I’ve decided to give you the best gift I can: a really short post that doesn’t take up your valuable time or mine. Also, this Halloween photo:

Note the cat's protective goggles.

1. Growing a beard is fun. It means I don’t have to shave much, which is a big plus since shaving is kind of a sadistic thing to do – at least for me, because I have sensitive skin on my face. (Cue audience to make “Awww!” sounds.) Most reactions have been positive, only one person has, for some reason, hated it, and a few people have done humorous double-takes.

Much like those caused by the infamous Pool Shark.

2. Losing weight can also be fun. To make a long story short, I may have had a hernia recently (who says grad school isn’t a piece of donut pie?), and I’ve had to adjust my diet a bit to eat healthier things.

STOP MOCKING ME.

It’s like I said a few months ago: losing weight, like any other positive change, can only come about through lifestyle changes. I’ve had success precisely because I’m not dieting; I eat when I’m hungry – I just make sure to eat healthier stuff, and count my calories. It’s not like I can’t eat ridiculously bad stuff anymore, but I have to account for it and balance. And once I make sure that the hernia, like the Dead Parrot of Monty Python, has entered the realm of history, I’ll start working out again.

3. There’s some really great TV out there, and also some fairly bad stuff. I just finished watching Lost, which is a masterpiece of a show. Plus, you have to admire a writing team that can take a six-year series to tell one very complex story. I really don’t think it’s been done before. Again, nothing will ever beat the epic, mind-blowing mania that is Doctor Who, in my book, but Lost was just unbelievable.

Go ahead. Just try to argue.

On the other hand, NBC’s The Event is pretty damn bad, and just goes to show you that messing with time frames and creating a mystery are no replacement for flat acting, uninspiring characters, and an “event” that most people have forgotten about because a) It hasn’t happened on-screen, b) We don’t know if it happened already, or will happen, c) It’s only been mentioned by name, and d) Please make this show go away. Maybe the writers forgot what it was supposed to be in the first place, or decided that naming a show after something was no reason to actually make the show about that subject.

Back to positives, Community is a hilarious show. You should watch it.

John Oliver + Ken Jeong = Why are you not watching RIGHT NOW???

4. Not that there’s much time ’round these parts for such shenanigans. I have eighty pages of research paper to spew onto some particularly unlucky 8.5” x 11” paper, a grant proposal to edit (and edit, and edit, and edit…), and a research project to help plan. Plus, I’m now one of the first-year reps in our department our grad student association, which is really active. Plus I just had uploaded materials from over 150 applicants for two open faculty spots. In one weekend. I love this shit, though.

5. Life is great, kids! I couldn’t possibly be happier, unless maybe y’all came to visit…

We also need a hand sprucing the place up...

1. I have a job! I’m helping my department with paperwork and logistics of two faculty hires, which I think is really cool, actually. Plus it’s money, and you kind of can’t complain about that, especially when you’re a broke grad student.

2. I have a research project! I’m working with a professor and another grad student on a potential project to research youth perceptions in the Middle East, particularly Israeli and Palestinian youth. We’ll be applying for grants and writing proposals soon – it sounds like a really exciting, long-term (at least from my almost-zero experience) project. It will be great experience in research and grant writing for me, and could even spawn a dissertation topic.

3. On Wednesday, I’m performing with Rutgers’ choirs and orchestra for the kick-off to a $1 billion capital campaign (yep, that’s the one with nine zeros). Governor Christie will be there, and pretty much all the guests will have already shelled out at least $25,000 for a seat. It’s eating up a chunk of my week, which is rough, but it should be an adventure. We’re doing excerpts of Carmina Burana, which is always pretty ass kicking, and a special arrangement of the alma mater that can only be described as a complete clusterf*ck. It’s kind of nice, just really, really all over the place in terms of style (think English folk song bumps into Eric Whitacre/Frank Ticheli spills coffee all over a campy 1970′s arrangement for concert band).

4. I have lots and lots and lots and lots of work due this week, which has led to your humble author putting off fun for most of this weekend. Next weekend, all that goes the hell out the window, because I’m going up to Boston (possibly with some other houligans) to relax before the really chaotic part of the semster falls on us like cows out of an airplane. (“Onto cement. Asphalt has too much give.” Anyone else remember that epic band quote?)

Well, I need to get back to work. In addition to the usual Library of Congress sized reading load to get done for this week, I’m trying to get finished a working draft of my NSF proposal (I mentioned that a post or so ago) for a review meeting next Monday, and expand on my abstract for my Theories of IR paper, which is due Tuesday. Yikes!

Yikes! I’ll talk to you all again later in the week, when things calm down a wee bit!